Evergreen-Washelli Funeral Home and Cemetery in Seattle, Washington.

In past years expressing your sympathy at a time of death meant attending the funeral and sending flowers. Today there are many ways to express sympathy. We may find a wind-driven pinwheel or a helium balloon on an infant's grave. Teenagers will attend a peer's funeral wearing T-shirts with their friend's photograph or name on them. We are much more versatile than we used to be.

This is not to say that the time-honored floral tributes are not welcome. A totally flowerless funeral or memorial service is often felt to be lacking something. However, instead of sending flowers to the funeral home, you might consider sending them to the family home, or perhaps sending a potted rhododendron or similar shrub that can be planted in memory of the deceased.

Sincerity is a great conveyer of sympathy. Establish eye contact and say the things that come to your mind, even if they seem awkward or trivial. Mourners are seldom offended by honest expressions of support, no matter how inexpertly conveyed.

A personal letter to the next of kin expressing your feeling about the deceased or your wish to support the survivors will be better received than the most elaborate purchased tribute.

You may wish to send a donation to a favorite charity in the name of the deceased. However, you need to check with the family to be sure that the charity you pick is an appropriate one. Sending a donation to your own favorite charity may not be seen as a memorial to the deceased.

Be honest and sincere in your actions and you will not fail to communicate your care and concern.

Think of your role as being the one who "walks with" the person who is in pain. There are few expressions of sympathy more meaningful than giving of yourself.

Email: info@evergreen-washelli.com