Don't panic if a bereaved friend or relative does not appear to be coping well for a while after their loss. Most people pass through grief and out the other side without needing professional help. After a time, more or less depending on the individual but seldom longer than six months, a bereaved person begins to lose the most intense symptoms of grief and to look at life in a more positive, futture-oriented way.
However, in some cases grief may strike harder and professional help may be required. Some of the signs you need to watch for are:
Remaining obsessed with the dead person to the extent that the lost one is always the main topic of conversation, their room becomes a shrine, their belongings are not disposed of, and so on.
Total lack of self-care, such as lack of cleanliness, malnutrition, too little or too much sleep.
Inertia or violent mood swings.
Dependence on alcohol, tranquilizers or other drugs.
If you see these symptoms you need to encourage the bereaved person to seek professional help. This may take the form of them talking to a religious advisor, calling a crisis hotline, or finding a counselor.
In serious cases, where you fear that suicide has become a possibility, you may even need to take the bereaved person to a hospital emergency room to be assessed by a social worker.
If you are in doubt about what to do, phone your local crisis line and ask their advice. They should be able to offer you referrals to professionals who can help. The number will be in your phone book. In the Seattle area the relevant numbers are:
King County Crisis Line: (206) 461 3222
Snohomish County Crisis Line: (425) 258 4357
Pierce County Crisis Line: (253) 272 9882
